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10 Things I'd Review if I did Live-Action
These would be atrocities unless otherwise noted. In no particular order Number 10: The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl This is number 10 because the Nostalgia Critic has already reviewed it, and I don't do things reviewed by him. However, I'll still count this because if I reviewed live-action stuff, there's a good chance that I'd have reviewed this movie before he did. I don't know how much I'd have to explain this one. Intentionally or not, it is one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen in my life. The CGI and the 3D is over-the-top and not done well in the slightest. The story makes very little sense. The characters aren't memorable in the slightest. But, like I said, Nostalgia Critic already did this film, so you probably know of the problems with this film. I guess, you could also throw Spy Kids 4 in this slot too. Number 9: Silent Hill/Silent Hill Revelations Silent Hill is one of my favorite video game series, and so I'd have a bone to pick with these movies. I'd be reviewing each of them for different reasons. With the first one, it'd kind of be like my Wayside review. There are worse adaptations, but I'd be tackling it largely from a fan's perspective of the original work. And in that regard, the Silent Hill movie is kind of worse. The video games started imitating it to the point where Homecoming didn't really have its own identity and just wanted to be the first movie (which was critically panned). Silent Hill Revelations is just flat out awful. Also, it tries a pop tart jump scare. Number 8: Seltzer & Friedberg Movies If I was doing live-action, I'd probably be reviewing more movies than television, but that's neither here nor there. Even in animation, I've wanted to review more movies than I already do. But I'd probably review all of these guys' work. I'd start with Vampires Suck because my family actually decided to go to the theater for that one, and it's so bad. All of these movies are awful. Number 7: Admirable - Paulie Paulie (1998) is one of the greatest family films that I have ever seen, plain and simple. The movie follows the story of this talking, sentient parrot, named Paulie. So... it's just another talking animal movie? No. This animal learns to talk through semi-plausible means. He's given to a little girl, Marie, who has trouble learning to talk and constantly stuttering. While her parents are teaching her to talk, Paulie is also learning to talk. However, after an incident that nearly gets Marie to fall off of a roof, Paulie gets taken away from her in one of the saddest moments I have ever seen. And the rest of the movie is Paulie's journey to find Marie and the people he meets along the way. Each one of the stories are very interesting and the shape the personality of the bird in a variety of ways. The movie gets a little anvil droppy towards the end about things like animal laboratories, but it's a lot better than say... Happy Feet's out of nowhere message about over-fishing that the entire final third movie dedicates itself to. Number 6: Admirable - "I should Have Done Something" - Family Matters To put it simply, one of my favorite live-action television episodes. Yes, it's the show with Steve Urkel, that could be... a little over-the-top sometimes? I think people seem to forget that it dealt with a lot of serious issues, like suicide. This episode is about Carl, a police officer, visiting the grave of an innocent man who lost his life during a hostage situation. And of course, Carl was the first one on the scene that day. I think the title of the episode lets you know what it's about. Number 5: Mazes & Monsters Mazes & Monsters is a movie that had its heart in a good place /sarcasm. Not really, no. This movie was made to demonize the Role-Playing Game Dungeons & Dragons. Why? Because a college student James Dallas Egbert had killed itself and people were looking for something to blame. Why did James really kill himself? A combination of his parents pressuring him to overachieve and his blossoming homosexuality, which wasn't the most accepted thing in 1979. What's the movie actually like? Well, imagine a Board James episode if the board games were causing the insanity and the film was expecting you to take this knowledge dead-serious. Number 4: Admirable - Big Fish For some odd reason, Big Fish is actually my favorite film of all time--of either animated or not. Why is this? I mean, it's probably the least known of Tim Burton's works... probably because it doesn't contain any of his usual traits or tropes. It doesn't even have Johnny Depp or Danny Elfman. Well, this movie speaks to the story-teller. A lot. It's hard to explain it. I guess, I can describe this as the opposite of Disney's Hunchback. What we have here is an adult story with more childish themes. And I don't mean childish in any of the bad ways. I mean more emotional, with less logic. The message it obviously tries to convey is that we live through the stories we tell, and it does that very well by blending both in-universe reality and in-universe fiction. It's definitely a movie that you have to watch more than once to figure everything out, especially if you're wondering what's true and what isn't. Number 3: Unfriended Dis stupid. Dis movie stupid. Number 2: The Gecko Caveman Show Now, if I were to go into the live action department, I'd probably do less of the things in the "so bad, it's horrible" category. You guys see how I react when it comes to things like Mega Babies and Adult Party Cartoon. God, could you imagine what it'd be like if that stuff was live-action? Yeah, if I was doing live-action I'd avoid things like that. Good thing that some products can be this fucking horrible without being explicitly disgusting. A still-born idea with awkward stories and... racism. It's uh... really, really, really bad. Number 1: I needed more than 10 numbers for this list Uh.... well, 10 numbers isn't enough for everything that I would do if I reviewed live-action films and television. Like any of the Cartoon Network live-action shows, Re-Animated, The Golden Compass, Eragon, Lady in the Water, Scooby-Doo 2, an admirable of a couple underrated live-action Disney channel movies, Pay It Forward (worst ending ever), Adventures of Pluto Nash, Clockstoppers, and etc. I just thought that I'd answer this because I've been getting a lot of questions about it. I guess there really isn't a simple answer. Category:Top Tens